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  She went back downstairs, feeling puzzled. Since Steven wasn’t working, he looked after Alison while Beth was at work in the mornings, and they juggled her care while she was working at the pub. How long had Alison been on her own? She was okay for a short period, but even that length of time worried Beth. She glanced at the clock on the mantlepiece. Beth usually had a nap after her cleaning job, before going into the Dog and Gun, but since Steven wasn’t around for Alison, she felt she couldn’t.

  ‘Isn’t that Prince Philip, then?’ asked Alison.

  Beth looked at the TV. ‘No, that’s Phillip Schofield.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Alison, unconcerned.

  Beth was fuming. She had a sudden thought that Steven had gone out last night after she’d gone to bed and became so drunk he hadn’t bothered coming home—but drinking outside the home was rare. When they were out, people thought he was a model father.

  ‘Well, Mum, you need to get dressed. I’ll have to take you to Caring Hands early, so I’m not late for work. I’m opening up today because Colin’s meeting the pub’s owners.’ None of this meant anything to Alison. Beth turned back towards the stairs. ‘I’m going to get ready.’

  ‘No, dear, I’m watching the TV.’

  ‘Mum, Dad’s not here to look after you. I’ll have to take you on my way to work. I have to open up for the deliveries today.’

  There was a noise of a key being turned in the front door, and in came Steven looking dishevelled and tired.

  ‘Where have you been?’ demanded Beth. ‘Out on the piss all night?’

  ‘Beth!’ said Alison.

  ‘Actually, no. I was at work.’

  Beth snorted. ‘Pull the other one, Dad.’

  Steven looked smug. ‘A mate gave me a tip-off about night shift work at a factory on the Industrial Estate. It’s just temporary, but it could lead to more.’

  ‘Really?’ Beth asked. ‘But last night you were pissed. I saw you on the settee when I came in.’

  ‘I was not!’ he said, looking affronted. ‘I only had one for courage.’ He always did that—denied his drinking, only to admit it moments later. ‘Old Bill phoned me in the early hours—before you’d left to clean the school. Someone hadn’t turned up for their shift again, and he tipped me off. I went in, and the boss gave me a job there and then! I felt I had to stay. Alison was okay, wasn’t she?’

  ‘Yeah, she was fine.’ Beth was staring at him in confusion. ‘A job?’

  Steven beamed at her. ‘Yup.’

  ‘Oh my God. That’s brilliant. But…’ She stopped. Steven had been drunk last night but maybe not enough for his new boss to notice. She’d need to start hiding her car keys from him, though. He obviously thought he was okay to drive; that was the trouble with heavy drinkers—they just didn’t realise they were drunk.

  ‘We’ll have to see if Renia and Waldemar, next door, can keep an eye on Alison on the nights she’s alone, but if they can’t, I’m sure she’ll be okay. Caring Hands think she needs more responsibility.’

  Beth scowled. She was delighted her dad had made an effort to find work, but didn’t like some health care assistant telling her how best to look after her mother. She forced herself to relax and put her arms around her dad to hug him. ‘I’m so proud of you, Dad. Well done.’

  He hugged her back, then pulled away. ‘You go and rest up after your early start. I’ll take Alison to Hands, then I’ll get my head down for a kip.’

  ‘I told you he’d gone to work,’ said Alison. She was looking at Beth reproachfully.

  ‘You did. Sorry, Mum.’

  The older woman nodded. ‘Good. And next time, don’t swear in front of your father.’

  Beth looked at her dad in shock. He was smiling, and then Beth chuckled.

  ‘Okay, Mum. I won’t, I promise.’

  ‘And you need to do something with your hair!’ Alison said. ‘Honestly, why you young girls bleach your hair until it resembles straw, I don’t know.’

  Beth, still smiling, reached over and hugged her mum.

  It had been a promising start to the day. The only thing to mar it was Yash and the knowledge that Colin was resigning as manager of the Dog and Gun.

  Beth tried not to dwell on it. She focused on Lara.

  She was alive!

  SEVENTEEN

  Colin and a suited businessman were sitting at the table in the alcove, coffee cups between them, when Beth arrived for work. The man had his head buried in his briefcase, while Colin was reading paperwork. She didn’t want to disturb them, so slipped in unnoticed.

  But then she stopped as she got closer.

  It couldn’t be… could it? Harry?

  As she dithered, Colin looked up, saying, ‘Ah, Beth.’ Colin grinned at her and waved a hand towards the suited man, who’d raised his head up from his briefcase. ‘Harry, this is Bethany Roberts. She’s been my right-hand woman running the pub, and I couldn’t have done it without her. Beth, this is Harry, one of the pub’s licensees.’

  Harry looked staggered on seeing her, but made a quick recovery and stood up, holding out his hand.

  ‘Beth,’ he said, and that familiar smile lit his eyes. The light dimmed as Beth refused to shake his hand.

  She felt like a bitch, but breaking up with him had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. Seeing him there, looking no different from how he’d looked five years ago, made her want to jump into his arms. Instead, she nodded at him, keeping all expression off her face.

  ‘Hello again, Harry.’

  Colin was looking from one to the other. ‘You know one another?’

  ‘No, not really,’ said Beth resolutely.

  ‘Ridiculous answer,’ Harry said with a cheerfulness that seemed entirely false, and Beth had it confirmed when she saw the look of irritation that crossed his face. Harry looked at Colin. ‘We were engaged until she’ —he stopped and quirked his head at her— ‘until she decided otherwise.’

  Beth flushed under his accusing stare and struggled to find a reply.

  Colin filled the awkward silence. ‘Oh, I’ll leave you two alone for a moment, shall I?’ He stood up. ‘I need to make a phone call anyway.’

  ‘No, it’s fine, you two carry on,’ she said. She suspected Colin was lying and just wanted to get away from the tension that had suddenly grown. ‘I need to open the back gate for the delivery.’ She turned as if to leave, but Harry made a grab for her arm to stop her. She looked at him with hard eyes, and he let her go quickly, his hand rising to rub the back of his neck.

  ‘Sorry,’ he muttered. He glanced at Colin. ‘Give us a moment, will you?’

  ‘Of course—’ Colin began.

  ‘No! I’m going. I didn’t come in early to chat with him,’ she said to Colin, who was looking more and more like he wanted the floor to open up. She began to walk away, flinging over her shoulder to Harry, ‘I’ve nothing to say to you.’

  ‘Still the same old Beth,’ he said, ‘kicking and cursing at the world while trying to control it.’

  His words seemed to mirror what Yash said, and she stopped. She turned slowly to confront him but seeing him looking hurt and anguished pulled on her heartstrings. ‘What are you doing here, Harry?’ she asked instead.

  ‘I promise you this is just a coincidence—it’s just business that brings me here. I’m finalising the plans for your new manager after Colin leaves.’

  ‘You work for the brewery?’

  ‘You could say that.’ He smiled at her, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. ‘Colin speaks highly of you.’

  ‘He does?’ Beth glanced around for Colin, who was now hovering behind the bar looking torn between springing to her defence or continuing to be civil to Harry.

  He nodded at her, saying eagerly, ‘We’re talking about the next manager, and I suggested you.’

  ‘Whoa, Colin!’ Beth said. ‘I’m not in any financial position to join a franchise.’

  ‘I bet you could get a loan.’

  She couldn’t. Her dad was bankrupt;
they lived in council-owned accommodation. No savings. No guarantor would touch them.

  ‘No, Colin, don’t even go there.’

  ‘It was just a thought.’

  Harry leaned forward and whispered, ‘You still know best, eh, Beth?’

  Beth glared at him, but he turned back towards the table and sat back down. He shuffled papers on the table, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but in the same room as her—and he wasn’t the only one. Their break-up had been hard. She was torn in leaving the room and staying and asking him how he was doing. She fidgeted uncomfortably where she stood, trying to think of something to say, but Harry stood up again as if he couldn’t bear the uncomfortable silence anymore.

  ‘I’m just going to grab something from my car,’ he called over to Colin. ‘Back shortly.’

  Harry didn’t look her way, but she couldn’t help but inhale his scent as he swept by. It brought back a wave of feelings she’d thought long gone.

  ‘I’m sorry, Beth. Of course, you’ve got too much going on,’ said Colin coming back around the bar; her eyes snapped open. ‘Any news on Lara?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Sorry, love. Hey, Harry was shocked to hear about the Jelvia coming in here and killing someone. Head office hadn’t even told him!’

  ‘Probably worried he’ll not get anyone to cover you. I’ll get started, shall I? The deliveries will be here soon,’ she said, keen to keep busy and stay out of Harry’s way.

  ‘Thanks, love.’

  She headed out through the kitchen to the back door as Colin moved back towards the table that was littered with paperwork.

  Beth pottered about out the back until the morning deliveries arrived, where she was able to move into the small cellar to put most of the stock away. The rest of it was stored in the narrow hallway separating the kitchen and the bar.

  When Beth had nothing else to keep her out of the way of Harry, and she was forced back into the bar, Harry and Colin were leaning over a laptop. Harry was asking Colin questions while typing in the answers. Beth tidied the bar and tried to ignore her ex only a few metres away. But when she did peep his way, she caught him looking at her—and instead of hiding his peeking, he smiled, taking her breath away. The smile caught her off guard. It was so soft and genuine—as if he knew her inside and out. Beth avoided his glances from then on. She couldn’t afford any emotional ties. She had enough on her plate as it was.

  She was called to the phone, and when she satisfied the caller’s needs and went back into the bar, Harry had gone.

  Her disappointment shocked her, and tears shimmered her vision. Since Yash, she was crying a lot more easily. It was as if he’d released something. She hardened her resolve, but the sudden tears reminded her she was still in a funk over Harry Everson-Watts.

  Damn.

  EIGHTEEN

  Beth woke up on the dreaded Wednesday determined to see Yash’s proposal as nothing more than a business deal. There was no connection between them. The deal would hold no emotion for her—and certainly none for him.

  As soon as she woke, she texted his simple ‘Yes’ just as he asked, and then she went to her early morning cleaning job, feeling jittery but more positive than she’d felt in a long time.

  When she got home, her dad was making Alison her breakfast as she danced around the kitchen to a song playing on the radio. He looked shattered after his night shift, and Beth’s heart went out to him.

  ‘Morning,’ Beth said, and Alison stopped and turned around.

  ‘It’s Wednesday,’ she said, as Steven looked up from the frying pan.

  ‘I know,’ Beth said. Wednesday was her day off at the pub, and it was usually the day she spent with her mum.

  ‘What shall we do today?’ Alison looked forward to the mother/daughter days. She looked like a little girl standing there expectantly for the promise of a fun day.

  ‘I haven’t thought about it. What do you want to do?’ Beth stepped over to her dad and put her hand on his arm. ‘I’ll take over, you get off to bed.’

  ‘Thanks, love.’ He handed her the spatula as the bacon and eggs spat in a frying pan on the hob. He kissed the top of her head and then turned to Alison. ‘Why not get your hair done, the pair of you?’ He dug in his pocket and brought out two twenty-pound notes. He thrust them at Alison.

  She grinned. ‘Lovely!’ She waved the money at Beth. ‘We’re getting our hair done.’

  He looked so pleased with himself, Beth didn’t have the heart to tell him the money would be better spent on household things. She still hadn’t told him that she might be out of a job once Colin emigrated to Majorca. She wasn’t looking forward telling him that, knowing it would lead to a drinking session.

  She heard him go up the stairs and then listened to the landing creak as he headed towards the bedroom.

  ‘Mum, you had your hair done last week.’

  ‘I know. I want you to have yours done this time.’ Alison pushed the money into her hands. ‘It’s not enough for the both of us anyway.’

  Beth gasped and stared at her mum in shock. Sometimes she really did seem normal.

  Alison began dancing again. ‘Your hair is like straw,’ she began to sing.

  Beth laughed and turned back to the frying pan.

  ◆◆◆

  The hairdresser tutted over the bleach in Beth’s hair and recommended a pixie cut to remove the damaged hair. Beth hadn’t thought her hair was that bad until she arrived at the salon, and felt slightly nonplussed.

  ‘With your face shape, it’ll be a great look for you. You have a bit of a Natalie Imbruglia look about you, in her Torn days,’ the hairdresser added as she fiddled with her hair.

  ‘You think?’ Beth felt sure it was meant it as a compliment, but even though she had heard of the singer, she couldn’t put a face to the name.

  The hairdresser, her hands heavy on Beth’s shoulders, looked at her in the mirror. ‘I think it’ll be a necessary evil to cut out all the bleach, but if you can’t bear to go that short, I’ll just bob it and add some layers. It’ll be a shame, though. Not many people can pull off the pixie.’

  Beth hesitated, the woman’s words resonating with her. She glanced at Alison in the mirror, sitting behind her in the seating area. They locked eyes and Alison beamed at her. Beth smiled back. She was lucky, really. She had parents who loved her. Not everyone was that lucky.

  ‘No, let’s do it,’ she said to the waiting hairdresser.

  The hairdresser looked excited. ‘Fantastic,’ she said and directed Beth towards the sink area to wash her hair. ‘It’ll be great, you’ll see.’

  There was something in the saying ‘feeling like a new woman’, Beth thought as she and her mum exited the salon an hour later. Beth, now a brunette, took her mum into a charity shop where they looked around at the clothes. Beth treated herself to a blouse while her mum picked out a coat, all for less than five pounds. A bargain!

  Beth had expected Yash to call after her affirmative text, but so far, her phone had stayed quiet. It frustrated her. She’d built herself up that it was going to happen, convinced herself it was a business deal, and now it felt Yash was playing with her. But at almost seven o’clock that evening, her mobile rang.

  Steven was upstairs getting ready for work, Alison was watching TV, and Beth was tidying the kitchen.

  Beth held her phone up to her ear, trying to control her racing pulse. ‘Hello,’ she said.

  ‘Sweet cheeks,’ he said. ‘Nice of you to answer your phone this time.’

  He was sarcastic. She said nothing and let him talk.

  ‘Your instructions for your first night with me are to come to the Ranch in Park Hall Avenue, East Finchley. I’ll meet you in the carpark.’

  Her heart was hammering. This was it! It was happening! Her throat was dry, and she couldn’t speak.

  ‘You’ll come this Friday evening at ten p.m. Don’t be late, or the deal is off,’ he continued.

  ‘This Friday?’

  ‘This Friday.’<
br />
  ‘I can’t just drop everything—’

  ‘That’s up to you. If you’re not there, the deal is off, and you won’t see your sister or me again. When—if–you come, bring with you a current photo of your sister. Names and addresses of her friends and her employment details, if any. Also a list of her hobbies, her likes and dislikes.’

  ‘I thought it was a case of you just releasing her?’ Beth asked.

  ‘Any other questions?’ Yash said, ignoring her.

  ‘No. I’ll be there.’

  The line went dead.

  NINETEEN

  Beth had already arranged to leave work early Friday night to make sure she got to East Finchley in time. It was only eleven miles away, but through London, it would take an hour at least—longer, because she wanted to avoid the congestion charge.

  She rushed home at eight p.m. and showered in record time. She’d already packed her small overnight case with toiletries. She dropped in her mobile’s charger. Her phone was her lifeline to her mum, and she didn’t want to be without contact. Colin had texted her, but she ignored it; she didn’t want any outside disturbances, not when she was about to do something so dark as to sell herself to a Jelvia.

  She changed out of her usual jeans and t-shirt into what she thought was a smart skirt, tights, and the new blouse she’d bought from the charity shop. It wasn’t sexy, but she didn’t know what Yash expected. A full-on tart, no doubt. Nerves gnarled her stomach; she’d felt sick with anxiety nearly all day.

  ‘Beth!’ her dad called from downstairs. Beth had already told him that she was going out with friends tonight and would probably stay out. Steven had been both worried and happy at the news that she was “going out clubbing with friends”. It was a ridiculous idea. She had neither friends nor any interest in clubbing, but her dad lapped it up because he desperately wanted to see her have a normal life.

  Beth went to the landing and peered over the bannister.

  ‘Have a nice time, love. I’m off to work now. Renia said she’ll be around to sit with Alison in a bit.’

  Beth wasn’t worried about leaving Alison. The neighbours, Renia and Waldemar, had always been fantastic with Alison, ever since she’d wandered into their yard looking for a lost kitten. The ‘kitten’ had been a fully-grown cat that hadn’t been lost, but Renia and Alison had struck up a lovely friendship ever since.